gravity.

i don’t give brian enough credit about how grounded he keeps me sometimes. every once and a while (okay, a lot of times once a month) i have a mini freak out about money/being underutilized in my job/anything stupid life oriented. i had been doing really well when i was training for the pig, but i think it’s because it just gave me something else to be ocd about. i am sure that i have mentioned how brian does not deal with it well, sometimes, because he is more cool cucumbery about this stuff than myself and he also can’t fix it, so why get so upset about it. last night was one of those nights. okay, so the whole day way. after the “you need to relax and stop caring so much, we’re in a recession still, you are so much better off than you think you are” lecture and the me crying part was done, he was very sweet. as always. i don’t know how he puts up with it. i’m such a spazz sometimes. 

i am really going to start stop caring so much and just be okay. i don’t have a lot of dough, i don’t have a dream job, but things aren’t that bad. so CHILL THE FUCK OUT!

new mantra.

official race time: 2:04:41

the flying pig was a great time and i am so excited that i was more than 5 minutes off my goal time. next year, i’ll be better prepared for the hills and we’re going to go for under2 hours. think i’ll do the air force half marathon this year too. :o)

thanks for everyone’s encouragement over the last few months. it’s been awesome support.

today is so much better.

i am making a vision board.

blah.

this day needs to end. for some unknown reason i couldn’t control my anxiety at all today, making me just an anxious bitch (it didn’t help that i was already annoyed with brian - don’t even want to talk about it), couldn’t control my emotions because i couldn’t get my anxiousness controlled and now i have to work with my least favorite student all night. ativan works a lot better than these counting exercises.

ugh. 1am needs to happen now.

exhausted!

that’s pretty much all i got.

today, i ran 12.8 miles.

i was only gunning for 12 and had i realized i was that close to a half, i would have done the last .3. it was a little hot (84 in ohio, are you serious, march!) but it was a great run. i really feel like i’ve been accomplishing something lately. this is the longest run i have ever done and i don’t feel like someone hit me with a dump truck! flying pig, i cannot wait for you!