January 2009
i got out of your fucking life. i left you alone. you went back to your perfect rich girlfriend and your perfect life. so stay the fuck out of my fucking bar. or there will be hell to pay. mark my word.
if i had been drinking more, someone might have last an arm this evening.
what the fuck god? do you really hate me this much?
maurer told me something that i haven’t thought i hadn’t been in months. i was complaining about eating too much chinese tonight* and out of nowhere she was like, “dude, stop being so self-destructive.”
maybe i’m even fooling myself…
*i was complaining because my pants have been fitting different lately. not in a bad way, but just kind of tight in the...
observation.
i’m sexual frustrated. there, i admitted. it. i am human, after all. i realize that it’s not that “hard” to go out and get laid, but seriously, last time checked that wasn’t exactly an option for me. not really into being much of a slut these days. sorry guys.
anyway, i feel better now.
okay, not really. still doesn’t change the fact. back to chomping on...
seriously, what the fuck
i saw RCD last night. at least i am pretty sure it was him. beard, tall, baseball cap, long torso. even from the far distance i could still see the dimples. before i even realized what was happening butterflies were all over my stomach, in a sickening way. then it hit me. and of course like the masochist i am i texted him. i don’t even know if it was the right number. i deleted it months...
music for the ages.
i like reminicing over things from my youth. like when i was around the age of 10-12. these were very important years for me in regards to my music choices. both of my parents had very distinct and different tastes in music. mom loved billy joel, bruce springsteen and the judds, while dad would blair john prine, lyle lovett, jimmy buffett, james taylor and jerry jeff walker from the tops of the...
sometimes i wonder if there are people who are just supposed to be alone. never with another. there are temporary moments in which these individuals are with others, sometimes for years, but in the long run, they are alone. false happiness, maybe even love, but once again, in the long run, alone. nothing more than a sad helpless individual who just could not find a mate or a match.
i equally...
i am an open book. it does not take much to really get a good conversation out of me. that does not mean that you’re going to actually get to the goods, however. there are very few people that get me. the real me. don’t get me wrong. i am a take me as i am kind of person. what you see is what you get. maurer is one of the few that gets it. even better than my sisters, really. and she...
i strongly suggest watching this movie if you haven’t already. how ryan gosling did not win an oscar for this performance is beyond me.
love is hope.
masochism at its finest
i haven’t wrote much lately, which is unfortunate. i’ve had more to write about now then i have in a while. i started the new job at the library in xenia and that’s been keeping me busy. am i a masochist for accepting this position? the last thing i need to be in is his city, four days a week, constantly thinking, am i going to run into him? thankfully he doesn’t even have...
always have to steal my kisses...
i have been sick pretty much all week. i was even in bed by 1230am last night on new years. maurer and halker were trashed/stoned. i love them. they are cute.
being sick today has been kind of crappy since i couldn’t run, again. i did yesterday and it felt great, but today would have been pushing it with the weather. i told my sickness to take a backseat, though, so i could at least take a...
